Having nursed five kids well into their toddler years, I have had a lot of time to ponder this issue. Factoring in weaning months, that's about 10 years of not being able to sit with the congregation on Sunday because I had to lift my shirt at some point during the service. I've had many people suggest that I pump before church because nobody minds sitting across from a quiet, bottle feeding baby. Such folks don't understand that nursing babies don't like cold milk from a plastic nipple, and that my milk was going to come down every hour whether I had pumped or not. They don't know about clogged milk ducts and the excruciating pain of engorgement, and how nursing on demand is good prevention. And well, they don't really want to hear about that. They just can't see why I don't hand the baby and a bottle over to the nice ladies in the nursery and enjoy a break from the burden in my arms.
I have Christian sisters who regard this as an offense to God...to quarrrantine nursing mothers who have been honored by a visit from God in conceiving/bearing a soul fresh from heaven...or to strongly suggest that they be separated from their infants during the service for their own good and for their baby's own good. Yes, some churches have tiny, dim lit room where mothers can go to nurse. But many do not. Many a nursing mother is forced to sit on a toilet in a closed stall in the women's restroom with their baby drinking, so the rest of the church can get on with their worship. Is it right to make mother's feel shamed for nurturing this blessing with their bodies in daily sacrifice? Is it wrong for the church to suggest that separating mothers and nursing infants is spiritually beneficial ? Doesn't El Shaddai nurse and comfort His people? Isn't it a beautiful picture of a spiritual reality?
On the other hand, our culture clearly equates the breast with sex. There's no getting around it. No matter how hard men (and some women) attempt to acknowledge that babies do need to nurse and 'there's nothing wrong with that", they also can't shake the visual (even if it's covered with a blanket). Nursing mothers have a very different point of view, but we're a very small minority. My four sons have seen their siblings nursed at home and don't think twice about it. But, we have to be sensitive to those who don't see it as we do. When guests or friends arrive, I excuse myself to another room to nurse.
I once was visiting Justice Clarence Thomas at the Supreme Court with my husband and 8 month old son. We were having a nice lunch in his office when I told my husband it was time to feed the baby. Justice Thomas immediately jumped to his feet and fled the room. I chuckled and found his secretary.. who showed me to the bathroom. Justice Thomas returned to chat with my husband but worried about me, and kept sending his secretary to me asking me if I needed anything... a basket a fruit, a water bottle, tea? He was obviously conflicted about what was proper, and how to treat a guest because he is a very kind and proper man. There are those who sincerely don't want to offend, and feel that nursing mother's must be provided for and given privacy in order to honor them.
We're seeing a slow and wide turnaround where our culture is returning to nursing after 50 years of promoting bottle feeding. But with most couples intentionally limiting the number of their decendants to 2 kids, and also putting them on bottles and solids earlier, there still isn't a a whole lot of public nursing going on in or outside the church. This combined with an increasingly sexualized culture, will likely keep nursing behind doors for mothers who are concerned about embarrassing others by feeding their child. The so-called radicals will always be there, insisting on their right to flash a breast and nurse openly without a blanket smothering their child's head. The stares they generate with "nurse-in" protests only fuel a self-righteous zeal to be free to do as they choose.
So, as I hide myself away as I nurse, I consider it an act of love and sacrifice. Love for the weaker brother who might stumble, love for the child in my arms, and love for the God who made them both. The sacrifice of my body in serving my child reflects the sacrifice of fellowship I feel in not being able to sit in the congregation and be spiritually fed along side my brothers and sisters. I am literally pouring myself out as an offering.... in the service of another, not just on Sunday mornings, but 24-7. Jesus said that whatever I do for the least of these, I do for Him, so these ten years of nursing have been a rare and wonderful opportunity to serve Him.
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